Tannadice Park (Dundee United)

Your enjoyment of Tannadice will rely almost solely on your love of a quirky colour. In this case, orange.

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I should definitely be clearer. Firstly it’s tangerine rather than orange, but secondly there’s plenty more to enjoy if you’ve not just come on a colour pilgrimage. Even if you don’t like Tannardice, then Dundee Football club is within about 50 yards of it. Two for the price of one is good in anyone’s books.

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Aside from football tourism bargain-hunting, it was a slightly odd visit in itself. Usually I visit grounds whilst catching a game or on a non-match day when nobody is about, and they’re sort of the ones I really like. There’s something wonderful about seeing these massive structures designed to host thousands of people that actually spend most of their time completely empty and deserted.

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But we caught Tannadice at about 5.30pm on a Saturday, 40 minutes after their game at home to Kilmarnock had finished. It meant the ground was technically still open but most exits were now shut, but there were fans and players both milling around.

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As much as it was tempting to hang around to meet Jackie McNamara, that’s not what this blog is about. So myself and fellow comedian and football ground fanatic Lee Kyle decided to look for an exit that hadn’t been locked up to sneak in.

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Our first attempt had a security guard on the door and not put off by the bell end at Anfield, I asked if we could slip in for a minute to take a couple of photos. “Do you work for the club?” came the confused reply from him. Now this blog has been built up on a reputation of trust and honesty and I will never do anything that will have people question its integrity, so I told the truth, that we didn’t. “No then, sorry,” was the reply. It made me wonder what would have happened had we said yes though, as it looked like he’d have just let us in, which is weird.

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In the end we found one exit not yet locked up and being used by some TV people to shift their equipment out of. So we ran in, snapped some photos and ran out like two excited but naughty schoolboys. A three hour drive to spend three minutes in The Jim McLean Fair Play Stand? Fair play.

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Tannadice is a cracking ground really, enjoyable both inside and out. Old school but modern, plastered in tangerine in exactly the same way your Bloomfield Roads should be but aren’t. I really enjoyed it.

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